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HELP! - “People tell me that I am ‘too intense!’ What should I do?”

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Courtney Elizabeth Anderson

Courtney Elizabeth Anderson


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In our HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared with me. This episode is, “People tell me that I am ‘too intense!’ What should I do?” 

“Full Definition of INTENSE

a :  existing in an extreme degree <the excitement was intense> <intense pain>
b :  having or showing a characteristic in extreme degree <intense colors>
:  marked by or expressive of great zeal, energy, determination, or concentration <intense effort>
a :  exhibiting strong feeling or earnestness of purpose <an intense student>
b :  deeply felt”

Intense. (n.d.). Retrieved June 1, 2014, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intense

Solution Process?
What are the negative outcomes? 
What are the positive outcomes?
Are there more negative or positive outcomes?

If you have more positive outcomes than negative ones, you most likely need to “find your tribe” (change your location to be around people who share your zeal, passion, and intensity). If you have more more negative outcomes than positive ones, you may need to reexamine your behavior to confirm if you are “too intense” or you are instead “too insecure” and are insulting and offending people out of your fears (change your behavior to be healthy and respectful of yourself and others).

Let’s explore this topic!