In our HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared with me. This episode is, “Do smart gals and nice guys finish last? I am Successful at Work! So, Why am I Single?”
Tremendous changes in society have impacted traditional gender roles and expectations. Women used to be excluded from individual accomplishment (by law and/or custom). In the past, even the most ambitious woman had to achieve her goals through a male relative (parent or spouse most often). Thus, traditional females traded their “support” for a “provider” and vice versa. There were obstacles to leaving the relationship as there was a high level of dependency.
The challenge is that when a modern female (a smart gal) is their own “provider” where does that leave her? Where does it leave a potential mate? What about a modern male (a nice guy) who is not able to “provide” millions of dollars? They are in a fantastic place where they have the freedom to be loved for who they are versus what they can do for someone!
If you are successful at work, how awesome! If you are single and don’t want to be, how awful. These two issues (success at work and being single) are not related to each other. Many wealthy and renowned historical males (and more modern females) were not “successful” at their romantic relationships. Work is not the same as a personal relationship. If you are unsatisfied being single, address and “fix” that issue. Are you open to other people? Are you generous with your time and attention? Are you selfless enough to invest emotionally in the well-being of others? Are you addressing your challenges and evolving? These are the “real” issues that result in an unsatisfied single person. Be realistic about people. Be realistic about yourself. What do you have to offer other people?
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