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In the MYTH WARRIORS™ series we are targeting ideas to begin to assess whether they are credible or not. We are warriors fighting to establish clarity between what is accurate and what is simply a myth (or falsehood) in life. Our topic is, “You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt (longest serving First Lady of the US)
What do other people really think of me? They don't.
This may sound blunt but the obsession with perceptions of what other people think about us is difficult for me to understand. Most of us spend our waking hours on our own lives (what we are doing, feeling, etc.). The belief that we are forefront in the minds of other people (beyond our closest loved ones) is narcissistic.
There are stages of human development that we all experience (to some extent) as adolescents where we are learning to define ourselves and are focused on our peer feedback. The continuation of this behavior into adulthood is not going to result in the best possible outcomes.
1) How do you know what other people think at all? You don’t. You only know what they tell you they claim to be thinking (which is not necessarily accurate). If you ask a friend, “How do I look in this dress?” What incentive do they have to tell you anything other than what you want to hear?
2) If other people tell you what they claim to think about you, so what? What does it matter? Are you an individual (in any sense of the word) or a follower (constantly morphing into whomever you think they think you should be)?
Don’t worry about what other people think of you. Instead, focus on what you think of yourself and your actions in the world. Are you kind to yourself? Are you of service to others? Are you joyful? Are you fulfilling and surpassing your goals? Are you fully experiencing your own life each day?
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