HELP! SITUATION: “How do I respond to insults and intimidation at work?" (3)

In this HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series episode, which is follow-up to a two part episode (basically, Part 3), our show title is, “How do I respond to direct, brutal, verbal insults and intimidation at work?”

In this episode we explore the Mental Self-Defense Arts™ and learn what to do when we are emotionally and psychologically attacked at work. An angry lady at work told me that I “was ugly” and that my “face was distracting.” Nice. Was that direct? Yes. Was it verbal? Yes. Would some characterize it as “brutal”, “insulting” and/ or “intimidating”? Yes.

Why she acted the way she did is not relevant. The fact that she actually did act the way she did is the only issue to focus on when faced with direct abuse. The “why” question leads to a long answer integrating the childhood, mental health, personality, choices, regrets and other issues impacted an abuser. That is their responsibility to address and seek professional and personal help to improve the quality of their lives. An abuser who wants to change must fight for themselves to do so. We are not able to make other people “do” anything (e.g., be nice, be abusive, like us, hate us, etc.). We are able to react and respond to predatory abusers to teach them to find other victims. A MLK quote is instructive, “whenever men and women straighten their backs up, they are going somewhere, because a man can't ride your back unless it is bent.”

In Part 1 we addressed the issue that some people are predators and their motivation is to inflict pain on other people. In Part 2 we addressed how a predator selects a victim. In the final follow-up part of this episode (Part 3), we address how to determine if we are dealing with a predator and what steps to take, if that is the case, to teach them to look somewhere else for a victim.