Partner? Check. Kids? Check. A relatively healthy sense of security? Check. Hot, freaky, monkey sex that has you tingling at the thought of it? Well…three out of four ain’t bad.
Relationships aren’t what they were before the sexual revolution, kids. The rules have changed and we have different expectations of our partners now. Be my lover and my best friend. Make me feel secure and give me a sense of uncertainty. Treat me like an equal and dominate me in the bedroom. That last one might just be me, but you get what I’m saying—there are a lot of conflicting standards being set nowadays; standards that we don’t always know how to meet simultaneously.
“How can we be steamy lovers when we’re comfortable enough to go to the bathroom in front of each other?”
It almost seems like one has to be sacrificed in order to obtain the other. But love doesn’t exist in a vacuum. All fire and you burn up too fast…no fire and you freeze to death. There has to be a balance, but the challenge of achieving this balance—along with plate-spinning kids, work, bills, housework—is exhausting. Half of us facing this problem are sex-starved while the other half are giving celibacy a thumbs up. It may not be the recipe for divorce in all cases, but it undoubtedly has the makings for an unfulfilled relationship.
This is our Confabulous! topic of the week, listeners: in a long-term relationship, how can our carnivorous inner-tiger coexist with the cuddly house cat?
Relationship expert and life coach, Pati Root of Root Dynamics, is back to answer questions, take calls, and help us all find out, “What the hell happened to my libido???”