Monday Morning Oscar Hangover

You mean, Daniel Day Lewis didn't win a damned Oscar?

Sean Penn busts out with a green card joke...Mexican citizens think it's hilarious, white and latino-descendant americans think it was racist and in poor taste...as they're on their way to a fine Mexican dining establishment, Taco Bell.

Asian and latinos frequently use the "n-word," because nothing more says being cool and hood than calling each other the "n-word." But wait...they say it without the "er," so that makes it okay for them.

John Legend compares black men in the criminal justice system these days, are worse than back in the 1800's. Everyone in the prison system is innocent.

Patricia Arquette wants equal pay for women and men in the workplace. The bitch makes more than me. Period.

Why have the oscars become a political soap box event, rather than just the simplistic ceremony that it used to be? I take bake my fake award acceptance speech. 

Birdman won best picture. Selma didn't win, nor did American Sniper. Somewhere, Liam Neeson is calling someone, threatening to shoot them.

Lady Gaga looking like a turd with toilet paper wrapped around it.

Daniel Day Lewis wants President's Day to be renamed, "I starred in Lincoln Day."

John Travolta pulled his best Joe Biden impersonation by groping every woman he could. Guess he's going overboard to prove he's heterosexual.

Why do the same out of shape dudes walk around in my gym's locker room naked all of the time?

The guys at my gym pee on the floor more than they pee in the urinal.

"Yelp" is the new, "I'm calling the cops."