Springfield, VA – Therapist Dan Wile once wrote, “Choosing a partner is simply choosing a set of problems.” While problems are part of any committed relationship, it’s recently been discovered that 69 percent of all relationship issues are perpetual and only 31 percent are actually solvable. In choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of irresolvable problems you’ll be grappling with for the next 10, 20 or even 50 years.
Ingrid Melenbacker is a licensed professional counselor and nationally certified counselor who specializes in couples therapy. Through her practice, Masterful Couples of Northern Virginia, Melenbacker experientially provides couples with tools to manage their perpetual issues.
“Think of couples counseling as your apprenticeship toward becoming a master of your relationship,” explains Melenbacker. “Once you know the keys to your unique relationship, you will be able to do this on your own as a couple.”
According to Melenbacker, managing perpetual issues keeps couples intimately close because they learn how to be great listeners, developing empathy and compassion for their partner’s position even when it’s in direct opposition to their own. Melenbacker develops a treatment plan designed specifically for the couple, offering a road map to get them from where they are to where they want to be.
“When trust is low, words don’t cut it anymore. You have to go beyond words to get to the heart of rebuilding the trust,” says Melenbacker. “The real relationship begins when a couple begins to work on finding a healthier balance between their differences.”
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