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Carson's Corner: The Great Ashida Kim!!!

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Those of you familiar with the terrifying and competitive world of 1980s ninja war will already be familiar with (and disgusted by) the top story on Carson's Corner this week!
 
For those unaware, prepare thyselves: a woman in China recently KILLED a man by crushing his testicles in a dispute over a parking space. But does this represent proof that Grandmaster Kim's infamous and sometimes-maligned "monkey steals the peach" technique has been vindicated both historically and as a self-defense technique?
 
Only CARSON'S CORNER has the man behind texts on ninja mind control AND ninja sex commenting on topical news stories and the greater sociopolitical issues behind them. Is it ever FULLY necessary to crush another person's testicles, and does a dispute over parking rights rise to whatever standard is required? Who among you would dare make demands on the NINJA?
 
 
BUT WAIT! MITCH CLARKE, THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN.
 
Many of you will know Mitch as the physically appealing Canadian UFC lightweight with an impressive record of 10-1. However, long-term listeners of the show will also remember Mitch from his role as a Carson's Corner Correspondent reporting from various MMA "trouble spots" around the dangerous and unforgiving landscape of Canada!
 
How has Mitch's life changed for the worse since he became a UFC fighter and went on hiatus from the show? How desperate is he to work for Bob Carson and not the billionaire Fertitta Brothers again? Will

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