BRAD KRONEN’S 12 Goodwill GIFTS OF CHRISTMAS
AN ASTROLOGICAL ALTERNATIVE TO THE 12 DAYS NOBODY REALLY WANTS ANYWAY
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December 19th & 20th @ 7PM PST
December 21st @ 8PM PST
“On the 12th Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me”:
12 Drummers Drumming – And risk having a never ending ring in my ears? I’d rather keep my hearing.
11 Pipers Piping – End result: A constant drill-like buzz due to all the high frequency sound waves. Fine and well if you work at a construction site or in a dentist’s office. Otherwise, No Thanks.
10 Lords A Leaping – Do they come pre-accident insured? I didn’t think so. Take your big risk deductibles and keep leapin’!
9 Ladies Dancing – The last time I saw these words together was in an advertisement that involved other words such as: “Maids” “Milking” as well as “Pole” (not referring to the North) and “Lap” (not referring to Santa’s). Moving very quickly along.
8 Maids A Milking – See # 9. This is a family show, People!
7 Swans A Swimming – My tub could fit 6 swans comfortably, 7 is out of the question.
6 Geese A Laying – My hunch is the end result from all this laying would be anything BUT egg oriented. Ummmmm, No.
5 Golden Rings – And what about the other hand? Rude!
4 Calling Birds – Calling of any kind before 10AM on a weekend is not welcome.
3 French Hens – How sanitary are they after those recent Parisian garbage strikes? I think not.
2 Turtle Doves – Got aviary flu from # 3, so they flew 6 feet under.
And A Partridge In a Pear Tree – Do you have any idea how much I’ll be put out after coughing up the dough for the partridge aviary flu shot and the pear pesticides? OUT!
If The Times they are a changin’, why shouldn’t The Holidays? And these days, who has the room, money, and insurance for all that “12 Day” noise and mess, anyway?
There is a modern and a much more karmicly efficient alternative –
Brad Kronen’s 12 Goodwill Towards Men Gifts
12 Individual Gifts Brad has created for every sign of the Zodiac, each chock full of karmic goodness and wrapped with love…..(cough). My apologies! I must have choked on some gingerbread or other piece of sugared love-treacle.
In honor of The Great Benefic (aka Jupiter, the Planet of Luck and Blessings) shifting planetary gears and lurching forward on November 19th after a very long 4 month hiatus of being in a Retrograde cycle, I published on examiner.com my “Goodwill Towards Men” Horoscopes – 12 published pieces for each of the 12 signs of the Zodiac along with an angelic introduction, telling everyone in what astrological area of life they should expect to see Jupiter’s blessings and abundance during the Holiday Season of 2010!
In honor of actually FINISHING this Yuletide Labor of Karmic Love in time for the Holidays, I will be reading each sign’s Goodwill Horoscope over the course of 3 internet talk radio shows along with playing my personal all time favorites of holiday music selections!
Take the holiday load off your feet, relax, and listen to Brad narrate your sign’s Goodwill Horoscope interspersed with some of the most heavenly Holiday music to be found under the Heavens! Christmas music ranging from well loved Holiday hits to gems that are not so well known but stunningly sublime in a Yuletide way, such as:
The Basque Carol, “The Message” (The Angel Gabriel)
“For Unto Us A Child Is Born” - from Handel’s “Messiah”
“Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses"December" by Kate Bush
Selections from the Christmas Operas:
“Amahl & The Night Visitors” by Gian Carlo Menotti
“A Christmas Carol” by Thea MusgraveAs well as playing the portions of classical works you may not realize involve Christmas, such as the “Café Momus Scene” from Puccini’s “La Boheme”
So Join Me, Won’t You? Provided YOUR Partridge is Quarantined.