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Birth Moms Get Real

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The grief which results from adoption loss more often follows a pattern which is the exact opposite of what one might expect in the case of other losses. Disenfranchised grief is when the grief is connected with a loss which cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned or socially supported. In many cases of disenfranchised grief, the relationship is not recognized, the loss is not recognized or the griever is not recognized. The loss of a child through adoption is usually a loss which cannot be openly acknowledged, which is why mothers often suffer in silence...people who have experienced any type of loss often feel anger, guilt, sadness, depression, hopelessness and numbness and that in cases of disenfranchised grief, these feelings can persist for a very long time. The lack of recognition of their grief often results in them holding on to it more tenaciously than they might otherwise have done.

Many different groups of people fear birth parent grief for many reasons. The old adage goes that people fear what they don't know. We would like to shed a little light on why birth parent grief isn't meant to be scary to adoptive parents, adoptees or the general public. We want adoptive patents to know birth moms are not to be feared and we want most of all to let our children know how much they are loved by us. I started this mission as a way of honoring my daughter for who she is and everything she is teaching me about life.

A Birth Mothers Story - on Rape,  Love, Adoption, & more 
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