校园搞笑拾记

    一

某生物课，老师讲《昆虫》，讲到蜻蜒时，对一没有认真听讲的学生甲训斥道：你不要小看蜻蜓，科学家研制直升机便是受到它的启迪。接着又讲到蚱蜢：一只蚱蜢的一次跳跃，是它身体长度的三十倍。学生甲举手发言道：如果我们学得蚱蜢的本事，汽车火车都可以铸铁为犁了，因为你只需跳三下就可以跳过一个足球场；高层楼房的电梯也可以送到收购站了，往上一蹦能蹦五层楼高，住在二十层也就是四蹦而已。
　　
　　二
　　
　　英语刚上课，晩上上网一通宵的学生乙便开始打盹了。老师发现后喊其站立，学生乙的眼晴怎么也睁不开，老师问曰：眼睛的英语怎么读？学生乙扶了扶鼻梁上的眼镜，灵机一动地答曰：鼻子上的；老师指着黑板上的热水瓶曰：它的英语怎么读？学生乙马上回答：里面是旦外面是壳也。
　　
　　三
　　
　　数学老师有一生理缺陷：头部总是朝左歪着。某日上课，缴去了躲在桌下偷看小说学生丙的小说。上午最后一节课下课铃声响了，老师宣布：下课。学生丙举起右手：报告老师，12:00还差5分！分！

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世事变迁

时光老人总是在改变着我的认知，一年的时间很长，在我寂寞和悲痛之中，感觉很难走出这段辛酸难奈的日子；一年的时光很短，在我走出我不想走出的家乡后，满怀依恋的心情，好长一段时间再度回到那里时，不想原先身处其中时每时每处发生着的变化就在身边却总不知觉，离开之后竟很自然地有了那种焕然一新的感觉。宽阔的街道已铺上了平整的柏油路，伍河水库加宽加固，新修的防护墙犹如城墙般壮观。再度身现其中时却有些陌生感，遇到的老面孔也自然地感觉到有些沧桑，老一辈人已是满脸沟壑纵横弯腰驮背地固守着自己的一亩三分地，年轻一代人早已外出活跃在沿海大都市里，实现着自己青春的价值，而如同我一样的我们这代人是中间地带的人，不惑之年，上无可依附的成就和积累，几十年的青春不知道换回了点什么，下无可施展的年龄和身体资本，想走却又走不出去，岁月不饶人。这就是我们生活着的这个变化的环境，这个变化的圈子，这个无奈的世界。
　　
　　蓦然回首，白驹过隙岁月如梭，生命的长河中我已趟到了河的中央。走过了这段旅程，收获了很多，我很知足，也遭遇到很多，几乎让我倒下。不管怎样，那些都已成了过去，现在面对的是正在变化的环境和生活的圈子，那里是我们生活的一方水土，那里有我至爱的亲人，有我赖以谋生的工作，有我需要接触的领导和同事，有我欢乐共度倾吐心声的朋友。时光在变，环境在变，人也在变，但愿我能在时光和环境的变迁中，与亲人和朋友们有一个新的感知，都有一个好的归宿。

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凌乱

心情变得很是凌乱，好想躺在大草原上看那羊群悠闲地啃草，看那天空中云卷云舒，但此刻的我只是在一个斗室之中，连放纵高歌也成不了可能，我无措。无措得连思绪也呆滞了下来，手中的笔也不知道该如何游走，如何施放，仅凭着看似平静的心情，操纵着凌乱的思绪凌乱地从笔端慌乱地倾泻在干净的日记本上。
　　
　　此刻几乎彻底凌乱了，重复地听着阿杜的《差一点》，听着那略带几分忧伤的、沙哑的而又独特的嗓音，心绪也莫名地起伏着。回想起自己从小走过来的路程，自己却无措地站在悲喜之间。小时候，从我有记忆的时候开始，我一直是一个很笨、很傻的人，我想我是不会有任何出息的，而现在的我真是没有出息了，没有出息的一塌糊涂，不知道未来会是怎么样的，是否会有讨饭的可能，每想到这里，我的心痛了，心就落泪了。我的心怎么会如此的脆弱，比林妹妹的心还要脆弱几分。也许我本不该降临在这个喧嚣、烦恼的世界，我应该是活在古代的一个穷书生，我想那时的我会好过一些，至少我的目标很明确，而不像现在的，目标对我而言似乎是一个陌生人，毫无感觉，而且还显得迷茫，整天都怀着过一天算一天的想法，碌碌无为地挥霍光阴。也许光阴是无限的，但仅仅是对这个世界而言的，而对于我光阴却又是那么短暂，似乎仅仅是转瞬之间的事。可不知怎样才能在这瞬间把自己那么一点微弱的光发挥出来，才能看见父母真心的微笑，不含任何杂质的微笑，没有苦涩。
　　
　　心情继续凌乱着，烦恼的事始终在眼前烦恼着，丝毫没有要逃避的意思，而我想逃，却逃到天涯海角也甩不掉它们。不知它们要跟到什么时候，也许等到连它们自己也觉得烦了，才会悄悄地隐去吧，但也许这一天根本不可能来到。

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Coordinate Your Look with Beautiful Dyeable Shoes

Dyeable shoes are heaven sent when you want to coordinate your outfit. This is especially true when a bride wants her attending ladies to wear shoes and dresses that complement each other. Traditionally, dyeable shoe options were very basic and limited. They were more practical than fashionable and in most cases were plain and drab looking. Strappy, elegant sandals or high fashion pumps were almost non existent. But today’s dyeable shoe selection is varied enough to satisfy anyone’s style and taste. From the stiletto heeled jeweled sandal to the practical low heeled pump, dyeable shoes deliver.

Shoe fabric is important too, and dyeable shoes are not only available in satins or silks. They can be found in a vast range of fabrics or materials that will suit any bridal gown or bridesmaid dress. Before deciding what kind of dyeable shoes are best for your wedding day, take a look at these helpful guidelines.

Where to Find Dyeable Shoes

Possibly the best spot to look for dyeable shoes is the place where you’re buying your wedding dress. Often, you’ll be able to get an affordable package deal. If not, they should be able to recommend someone in your area who will do a professional job for you.

Online stores are a great place to shop for all your wedding requirements. Many of them even offer a full range of shoes in different styles and designs that can be custom coordinated with your dress. You should be able to find shoes and gowns in the same popular seasonal colors.

Keep in mind that it’s usually best to choose dyeable shoes that are off-white rather than pure white. Off-white shoes tend to dye more true to color. Be sure to ask for a color swatch of your dress and take it along with you to your professional dyer.

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Some Very Important Factors to Consider When Shopping For Shoes

Shoes are an important part of footwear. They are usually used when we walk, run or play. Shoes reflect your personality, choice and mood. Everyone wishes to have a good pair of shoes. There are different types of shoes like casual shoes, athletic shoes, dress shoes, bridal shoes, women's shoes, men's shoes and work shoes. You need to take the time to select the right footwear for your feet. The type of shoes you want to purchase can be mainly classified into walking shoes, athletic shoes and casual shoes.

Walking shoes should not have a high heel. The heel should be no more than an inch in length. The walkers do not need flared soles. The walking shoes should be flexible otherwise your foot will fight with them as you roll through each step. Before buying Timberland shoes, you should test the walking shoes and if they pass the test then they may be okay for walking.

Athletic shoes are specifically designed for participating in the physical and sporting activities. They are different in style and make than the dress shoes. The athletic shoes may also called joggers, running shoes or gym shoes. Athletic footwear is usually made of flexible material and features a sole made of dense rubber. You should buy the athletic shoes as guided by the athletic trainers.

Casual shoes are flexible shoes made of soft leather and they are most commonly used type of the shoes. Before buying casual shoes make sure they are in good combination of your dress and personality.

A good way to ensure that you are buying the right Gucci shoes or Prada shoes is to visit a specialist shoe store. You can also do some research online and check the designs, features and prices of different shoes. Once you have good information about shoes, you will be able to buy good quality footwear of your choice.

You need to do a test run at a shoe demo and get a comfortable fit of your shoes. Buying leather shoes with fabric is a good choice of many people. The improper sizing can cause problems so make sure that you have the perfect size and excellent grip of your shoes. You can also research your seller to ensure the quality of your shoes.

Many people buy different types of shoes for different occasions. If you buy multiple pairs of shoes, you can get a good discount.

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How to Take Care Your Prada Designer Handbags

Prada is a renowned and reputable brand name and it can be assured that if you are carrying one of these bags people will know that you will have the money and class to afford them. Thus, being so, one needs to exercise caution when handling these expensive and well tailored bags. In this short article below we will be covering some general tips on how you can take quality care of your bag.

A standard Prada bag for women may cost somewhere between $300-400. The design may vary depending on what sort of material you wish to purchase. The material of the Prada bags determines its look and feel - leather, the most common surface of a handbag is very efficient in holding content and preventing wear and tear. However, when it comes to cleaning this should not be done absentmindedly.

Be careful when cleaning designer handbags. Nobody wants to walk around with a dirty handbag, but unlike designer clothing you can't find a quick and easy way to wash one. All washing should be done carefully on the outer surface of the handbag with a cloth and some soaked water. Make sure you have removed all content from inside before you do so. Rub carefully and firmly (not too hard) to remove dirt and stains. Try finding bag cleaning products / services if you don't want to do this yourself, or if you have a lot. Most designer handbags, including Prada bags, Gucci bags and Coach bags, are waterproof so you if you are careful everything should be fine.

For the metal sections of a Prada designer handbag, you might want to look at some metal polish. The same techniques apply except that you might want to cover parts you don't want to involve with the polishing with a layer of material.

The key to maintaining a good handbag is to keep it safe. Always store it in a place not easily accessible to ensure that people don't walk on it or trip over it. Keep your handbag safe, and it will serve you well and for a long time.

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