Austin Girl  

by Austin Girl of the Dirty Dog Daily 

Tonight at Trump International Hotel &Tower Casino in Las Vegas, professional boxing ring announcer and formerchild-star, Michael Buffer, took a lady-like swing at super heavy-weight boxerFat Bastard (the 70 lb Beagle).

Fat Bastard absorbed the punch by blockingthe blow with his opponent, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog’s face.
The incidenthappened when the referee, Jackie Justice, called the two fighters to thecenter of the ring. Michael Buffer started to chime in with his familiarphrase, “Let’s Get Ready To Rumble” when Fat Bastard stole the microphone andcompleted the signature phrase adding “You Worthless Cigar-Smokin’ Pussy.”

Fat Bastard pounded Insult Comic Dog’spuny puppet face with two left jabs and a crushing right upper cut, leavingInsult Comic Dog collapsed in his corner like Rocky Raccoon. Fat Bastard thenenjoyed smoking the cigar formerly puffed on by the Insult Comic Dog. FatBastard leaned over the ropes and proclaimed to the cheering crowd, ‘It ain’tCuban.’ He then pointed to the front row seats and said to the owner of theDallas Mavericks, “No offense Mark” and left the ring with the crowd chanting‘Bass-tard, Bass-tard, Bass-tard.’



The much-anticipated heated showdownbetween the two fame-seeking dogs didn’t even make it to the opening bell ofthe first round. “This fight was better than Frazier vs. Ali,” chuckled DonaldTrump as he rearranged his comb-over. Trump, who was sitting next to ParisHilton’s bling-wearing bitch Tinkerbell, said he thought Fat Bastard was in ajealous rage.


The Geico lizard confirmed that InsultComic Dog had been blowing kisses to Fat Bastard’s date Tinkerbell prior to thefight. “She’s puffed on more than a Cuban,” laughed the Geico lizard, who wasseated in the red-carpet section labeled ‘phony-computer-generated celebrities’and whose only claim to fame was speaking with a fake British accent andinterrupting those auto insurance commercials.

Insult Comic Dog’s press agentcould not be reached for comment. Fat Bastard’s agent quit and is now representingthe Geico lizard.