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• Archived Blog Post

  Date / Time: 2/5/2009 11:10 PM UTC

  How Loving Self Creates Balance
  

  Most people want to know how believing in yourself which actually comes from loving self, is assisting in balancing their lives. When we don’t love ourselves fully, we tend to put ourselves on the bottom of our lists for people to take care of. We tend to put everyone else’s needs first and what we have left over, if any, we do for ourselves. This is one of the very things that put our lives out of balance.

  When we do not love ourselves we tend to be over givers, perfectionists at what we do, and also we have no boundaries, which also is a BIG factor in becoming out of balance.

  Before we can learn to have boundaries and to put us on the top of our lists for taking care of ourselves, we have to love ourselves first. We have to see our value and our worth and FEEL it. It is not enough to just know it, we must FEEL it inside. When we do this, we then become better for all around us and we can better create balance in our life. So we have to believe in ourselves and when we do this, we then will see our worth and feel deserving and honored.

  This always starts from within. The saying about we must love ourselves first if we want to be loved is very true. So we must also respect and honor ourselves to be respected and loved by others.  We tend to allow people to treat us the same way we treat ourselves.

  So, if you always come last to yourself, others will reflect this by always making our needs last with them. If we disrespect ourselves or dishonor ourselves, then we will also experience people disrespecting us and dis honoring us. The ways we disrespect and dishonor ourselves is by compromising ourselves on a regular basis for the needs of others. It is not treating ourselves with the same love, patience and nurturing that we treat others with.

  A good way to see this, because for many of you it has become a habit or natural and you may no longer see it consciously is to make a list of all the people you love. Then write out all the things you would do for that person. Also write down things you remember you have done in the past. Don’t forget any, lol. How many times have you dropped a routine, putting you way behind schedule for someone else’s drama. How many times have you done something for someone they were capable of doing themselves, but you kicked in and did it because it was easier than getting them to do it? Think of all the nice things you do for people also, gifts, nurturing, and love expressed to them. When you finish writing this down go back and count how many of those you do for yourself.

  For most I will bet this is out of balance. So, how do we heal this? There are many ways but for tonight we are going to look at a few ways to start.

  We can list all of our talents and skills we know we have
  We can e-mail or ask friends if they can tell you of your good qualities (many times our good qualities are second nature to us so we do not see them as QUALITIES, but others do) if you’re embarrassed to do this let them know it is a project you are working on, most love to do it.
  List personality traits that you have that are loving
  Find 2 things you love about your body. (Most tell me this one is hard for them) OK, well for balance we have to work on Mind, Body and Spirit, so it is important. There has to be at least 2 things you love about your physical, it could be eyes, skin tone, hair and so on.

  After you have this list start to focus on them daily. Take ten minutes and reflect about all these wonderful things about yourself and tell the universe and yourself how grateful you are for these. We want to start on a positive image and change our perceptions before we jump into creating boundaries and putting ourselves first. If we try and do that before we love ourselves, we will cave in and go back to the old. Loving ourselves is what will assist us in being good to ourselves and empowering ourselves, which will start creating balance in our life.

   

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