An example of this would be a man who prides himself on being a kind, loving and giving person but behind the scenes he is always controlling people by being nice and yet has no idea that he is doing this. In this case control itself is the secret primary. This same man might have a secret inner patriarch filled with rules for proper behavior in him and others but consciously he has no idea it is active in his life on an ongoing basis. His family and friends may well know it, but the carrier of the secret self can remain blind to it for a lifetime.
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