Our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy have changed. We think you'll like them better this way.

Dr. Mark Goulston: Real influence takes persuading by connecting, not pushing

  • Broadcast in Psychology



Follow This Show

If you liked this show, you should follow amyalkon.

Amy Alkon's Advice Goddess Radio: "Nerd Your Way To A Better Life!" with the best brains in science.

We tend to believe that we just have to reason others into doing what we want -- or even doing what we see is best for them. The reality is, we influence people by connecting with them and feeling where they're coming from, not trying to push them into doing things our way, notes psychiatrist, business coach, and hostage negotiator trainer Dr. Mark Goulston. Even if the shoving approach might sometimes lead to short-term change, it tends to breeds lasting resentment, not successful business and other relationships.

On tonight's show, Goulston will lay out the fine points of the connected influence that moves people to go along with our goals and how to avoid the disconnected style that moves people away from us and leads to resentment and other bad feelings and outcomes. 

Goulston's book, co-authored with executive coach John Ullmen, that we'll be discussing on this show is "Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In." 

Join me and all my fascinating guests every Sunday, 7-8 p.m. PT, 10-11 p.m. ET, at blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon or subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher.

My show's sponsor is Audible.com. Get a free audiobook download and support this show financially at no cost to you by signing up for a free 30-day trial at audibletrial.com/amya (It's $14.95 after 30 days, but you can cancel before then and have it cost you nothing.)

Please order my new book, the science-based and funny "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck," -- only $9.48 at Amazon.