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No, MItt Romney wasn't an aggressive, homophobic hairdresser, but the WaPo hopes you won't notice; adjudicating the Decalogue into the Sexalogue; Obama finally apes Reagan for real, except he's arming the wrong rebels; was The One born or shat?; the terrifying story of how ex-Hispanic-now-lilly-white night rider George Zimmerman brutally assaulted ultimate fighter wannabe Treyvon Martin by repeatedly smashing his face into the poor teen's fists, and why his prosecutors think discovery sucks; the UN tries to take America...BACK TO THE INDIAN FUTURE!; Red Barry gives narcissism a bad name; and the Chicago Cherubim picks up another fundraising tool. Plus a Doug Gibbs exclusive you won't hear anywhere else!