Katy Manna  

I am always amazed at the Universes' way of healing. I have spent a good deal of my life being introspective in so many ways. Doing my best to be aware of who I am in this world, how to evolve more deeply and then with each new bit of knowledge and experience, pass on the wisdom  to others. That, in a nutshell, has been my story. I have spent a lot of time understanding that the Universe meets me half way. When I am open and willing to take a step, It too, takes a step. Over the past few days I have seen the Universe take a giant leap, a quantum leap in my direction. A miraculous healing has taken place.
I have been reunited with family that I have thought about often over the years. I was a 3 year old little girl when my step father and his four son's were ripped out of my life. I can even remember the day I literally shut down. I realized that I would not be going back to the people I called my family. The only family I had known. I still had my mother and sister, yes, but that dynamic that I had grown to love and cherish was gone for forever.
I was a little girl, cute as could be and totally adored by my siblings and my stepfather. My stepfather, who I might add, I thought was my father. I didn't think that because I had been lied to. I was just to young to understand and my biological father was not available to me.
I spent many years doing my best to come to terms with my "abandonment issues"...blah! I even hate saying it. It sounds so cheesy, so contrived and over used. But in reality, I was, for a long time, the poster child for abandonment issues. The good news is that I became aware of this early on and have been chipping away at it for a long time. Then...they came back into my life, just the other day.
What I didn't realize is that they have loved me from a far all this time. That they have been silent cheerleaders for me and I had no idea. That is not to say that they thought about me all the time or their life stopped when I has to go. What I am saying is that for them, I was special too. That I was a part of their history as much as they were a part of mine.
It was life and the way things had to be that pulled us apart and it never meant that they stopped loving me. They just had to detach and love me from a far and in their own way.
What I love about all of this is that I am in a place to fully receive the gifts that come along with all of this. And the biggest gift is a kind of peace that is impossible to explain. There is a part of me that died that day I remember shutting down and now, 27 years later, it is being laid to rest in a way that no therapy could have.
One of the other big gift that I am getting from this is really understanding that for a long time now my fears of abandonment are not because I fear someone leaving me. I have felt that, and I have not only survived, I have evolved and passed on what I learned and hopefully have helped many people. My biggest fear has been about me abandoning myself. That there have been too many times in the past that I have allowed feelings and people to carry me away from my own sense of personal power. Therefore, it has been more painful the way I have left myself behind than anyone else ever picking up and leaving.
I am amazed at how the little things can be so life changing. Facebook. I kid you not. Facebook was a major player in this healing. Who'd a thunk?

katy@LiveWithTheLightsOn.com
www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com
Sign up for your FREE Dosha Discovery Kit  today!