LIVE WITHOUT LIMITS  

We all have different styles of communication, ways of managing or time-if not effectively, working with people from diverse cultures, performing as a leader, listening to our co-workers when they are specking, styles of managing people, or expectations about the workplace. As an Inscape Publishing distributor I use assessment profilesto help clients reach their maximum potential. I have not done this before but I would like to utilize their catalog to explain how by using EPIC you can learn what your particular style is in in the workplace and how you could use this and coaching to learn to work without conflict and uild life long relationships working for someone else or building your own business. We all have to learn to communicat in effective ways to build and grow a business. Previously this training was offered by the company you worked for. As companies outsource and small businesses or solopreneurs build a business you have to continually take classes yn your own to build your skills to become successful. Many people are wasting their time rather than using it effectively. We are selling ourselves whether we are working for someone else or building our own business. Our expectations of what we should do on the job to perform effectively does not always jive with what we really need to do to perform our jobs effectively. We need to learn how to listen effectively so we can build good communication skills or be an effetive leader. People who should listen to this show are coaches, counselors, entrepreneurs, HR Managers,

When we grow up in a home with conflict, we think that is the norn and so we create it around us. For people who are sensitive to conflict they want to avoid it at all costs. Some people are immune to it and think of it as the orm so they recreate it in their own home. I jave talked about this many times, but we need to recognize the hostility and anger for what it is and want to change or we will never have healthy relationships as adults. We learn these relationships in the home and unless we recognize it's destructiveness for what it is we will never change. Do you recognize the inner conflict you have within yourself and where it comes from? Are you willing to change your behavior? Are you willing to accept other family members if they change. Unless you are willing to change or look into your past and understand why you behave the way you do it will influence the relationships you have as an adult. We are only a product of the home we come from. Recently entertainers have come out with books chronicleing the conflicts they grew up with and how it influenced their behavior, By talking about it, they have gone through a healing process. By facing these personal demons then and only then can get beyond it and live a healthy life and build good relationships in your personal and business life. There are forms of group therapy such as TA and Psychodrama where you can face your demons in a supportive environment so you don't turn to drugs and alcohol to obliterate yourself. Because of the conservative 50's during the revolution of the 60's drugs became the mode of dealing with personal demons. In the 21st Century the acceptance of talking about these demons hav brought out the destructive behavior. This behavior affects your work habits as well because you creat the same desteuctive behavior in the workplace to fulfill a prophesy you believe to be true because someone told it to you. People who should listen are counselors, therapists, businesspeople.

Last week we talked about having a positive or negative attitude about ourselves comes from the home we grew up in. This can also affect how successful we are in business. Today we need to consider changing our attitude about what a job is. For many people in the Baby Boomer generation their parents and society told them a job is to work for someone else where you have a guaranteed job, have benefits such as health and dental, and have income for retirement. The reality is that this is no longer true. So how can you change you way of thinking of what a job is today and how can you get the health coverage you need for yourself. Even Congress is debating this issue because so many people are working for themselves and don't have any coverage. We need to have a positive attitude about ourelves and our abilities if we are going to find success. If your family is not your support system find another source-friends, mastermind group, networking groups, church, ECT. You have to find an outside source because your family can be your worst enemy. There is jealousy and with negativity they will try to sabatoge your success. Remember the story called the Fuzzy Tale where the family gave out warm fuzzies until the witch told them they would run out. Love is an emotion where you want to touch someone, it's not a word where you are just throwing kisses from a distance. People have a misconception of what love really is. I have a better understanding of it only because I looked outside the family and created my own support system with friends. In a way my sister did the same thing only she doesn't realize what she's done or how she perpetuates the hostility my mother created in the home. People who need to listen to this are Psychologists, therapists, business people, ECT.

We control our destiny but at the same time we are a product of the home we come from. The Baby Boomers are becoming the senior citizens of today. Many were born in the late 1940's after WWII. This was a very conservative era. At this time people hid away child abuse--physical, emotional, verbal, incest, ECT.It was not until the 1960's that things began to change-drub abuse, music, ECT. There was even a movie made called the 60's. You started seeing more self help books on shelves. You are now seeing the backlash of that era because the news now reports on the issues of today, Drug Abuse was accepted back then, today it's taboo and the Mental Health field and law inforcement have an affect on this. As celbrities write their memoirs you are learning about how the era of the past is influencing today's stories and headlines. Remember our parents had low self estemm and passed along those head trips on to their children, Freud talked about the Id, Ego, & Superego. Carl Jung tied it to science, Berne came up with TA and called it the Child, the Parent, and the Adult. However you call it or refer to it, this all comes back to the family dynamics. Whenever there are hidden secrets and one member breaks the silence to break the addiction there is a breakdown in the family dynamics and you hear about the backlash. Look at the Jacksons, Phillips, ECT. Seek help if you need it but the bottom line is to learn to like yourself. Your parents can be a positive or negative influence on you by the messages they give you. People who need to listen to this are families, therapists, self employed people, and managers.

We are at the highest unemployment rate in 26 years and the recovery rate is going to be a long process. Corporations are being leaner and cutting jobs so that no one is duplicating someone else's job. They are outsourcing jobs on the phone so people do more of the work from home, therefore they don't have to have as large office space. This also means they can cut expenses on utilities and equipment. What this means to the common employee who works from home is tax breaks on utilities, phone service, & office(home). More and more we are moving back to the entrepreneur, If you don't have the discipline to work from home get a coach. People who need to listen to this are the unemployed, underemployed, homebased business people, salesmen, coaches, entrepreneurs, people who are starting their own business. Are you prepared for the new workplace? Do you know how to use technology to build you a successful business and market effectively? Are you still using traditional techniques to look for work that doesn't exist anymore?

People are not always sure of how they come accross in their communication skills. Be aware of the tone of voice, the expression on your face--mouth, eyes, stance, ECT. These are all a part of the way we communicate. We communicate differently with family members then we do with friends, even if we are unaware of it. In a family we tend to be more judgemntal of each other which affects how we communicate. This is often because we learn each others hot buttons and like to push them just because we feel we can often not taking into consideration the affect it may have on one another. Learn to listen to how you communicate with family members and figure out a way to improve your relationships. Sometimes we do this because it's our personality, other times it comes out of perceived jealousy for one another. If you are unable to change on your own get family therapy because it's the only family you have. If you are unwilling to seek help or want to change then it will bring a rift between family members. People who should listen are counselors, therapists, businessmen--since trhis affects your communication skills in business.