It's all about relationships, communication and success  

Beyond Lip Service: The Winning Formula with Business Coach Andrew Finkelstein. – You have plenty of ideas, but don’t get them narrowed down. (Even if you do you have trouble getting them implemented). – You do not have enough clients to fill your chairs and rooms. – Not enough qualified staff to serve those clients you are bringing in. – You’re still getting retail selling resistance from your team. – Client retention figures are so low you’re embarrassed to tell them to your team. Tune in to find out how to overcome these common business problems... Focus on taking action in your life. Join Sharon from www.impressionengineers.com Tuesdays at Ten (Pacific) Commentary and interviews with dynamic communicators and inspiring people. Practical skills for today — influence, inspire, and empower yourself and those in your world. Be Bold! Life is about taking ACTION.

Beyond Lip Service: Sharon's guest is Neil Ducoff, author of No-Compromise Leadership: A Higher Standard of Leadership Thinking & Behavior (January 2009, DC Press, $24.95) — the definitive book on get-it-done leadership and dynamic business cultures. He has epitomized the “No-Compromise” mantra throughout his 38 year career as a business trainer and coach, keynote speaker and author, as he’s helped business leaders and entrepreneurs to achieve the highest levels of success and profitability, while creating a positive, rewarding workplace environment. Focus on taking action in your life. Join Sharon from www.impressionengineers.com Tuesdays at Ten (Pacific) Commentary and interviews with dynamic communicators and inspiring people. Practical skills for today — influence, inspire, and empower yourself and those in your world. Be Bold! Life is about taking ACTION.

“…If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought...”
~George Orwell

At times, things just come out of my mouth... and it's not until it falls out of my mouth that I'm aware it has an assumption (or two.)  Last week, I was trying to express myself to my friend Sparks; it just wasn’t as clear as it could have been.  In response, instead of frustration, pushing or prodding I hear 3 wonderful words… “Tell me more.”

Respectful Inquiry

It is amazing how things just seem to align… last Tuesday on our Blog Talk Radio show Beyond Lip Service (www.blogtalkradio.com/beyondlipservice), I had the pleasure of interviewing Marian Way (www.apricotisland.com/). Her specialty is Clean Language*, a process for helping others explores their own metaphors, and gain insights into their thinking and behaviors. As the name implies, it is ‘clean / neutral.’ It is also very flexible.

Clean Language started as a therapeutic tool, but can be used with everyday events, including:

    * Interviewing
    * Modeling different skills and perceptions
    * Coaching and feedback
    * Meetings and job appraisals
    * Team building and decision-making
    * Self-discovery and exploration

Clean Language strives to put our assumptions aside to let the other person be heard and understood. That’s when the beauty of “tell me more,” became apparent. Now, “tell me more” is not Clean Language, but it serves a similar purpose…

Consider a statement as simple as  “What are you thinking?” Seems tame enough, yet it assumes that they are thinking something. So it could be changed to, “Are you thinking anything?” Yet, that still assumes they are thinking. Changing the statement to be ‘clean / neutral’ “Is there anything else about that?” could include thinking or feeling or listening or hearing...

Some Clean Language phrases that can be slipped into a conversation are:

    *  “What kind of … is that?”
    * “Is there anything else about that?”
    *  “What would you like?”

The key to using Clean Language and thoughtful communication is not trying to make anything happen. I find again and again, that others have their own answers, and creating an assumption and belief-free zone for someone to discover their own insights is respectful and more effective than any remedy I may come up with.
 
To learn more about Clean Language and Marian Way, visit www.apricotisland.com

“The human soul doesn't want to be fixed, it simply wants to be seen and heard. The soul is like a wild animal - tough, resilient and shy. When we go crashing through the woods shouting for it to come out so we can help it, the soul will stay in hiding. But if we are willing to sit quietly and wait for a while, the soul may show itself. ~ “The Courage to Teach” ~ Parker J. Palmer”
 
Have a great day in whatever your adventure.

To Success!To Life!
Sharon

*Clean Language was developed by psychotherapist, David Grove, as a way to keep his assumptions at bay, so he could work directly with his clients’ perceptions.

Beyond Lip Service: Our guest is Marian Way this Tuesday April 7th. Marian is from England, where she started out teaching math and later worked for 20 years in the Weight Watchers, where she and a colleague developed the POINTS diet. Now she runs her own training, coaching and facilitation business. Her specialty is Clean Language, a process for helping people to explore their own metaphors to gain new insights into their thinking and behavior patterns, which can lead to profound change. Marian is in Portland this May with an extended program, which covers Clean Language and two related processes: Symbolic Modeling and Clean Space. Join me this Tuesday April 7th at 1:00 PM Eastern/10AM Pacific for Beyond Lip Service at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/beyondlipservice

What are some of the first perceptions your clients have when they think of you, your company and what you offer? Perception is defined as a state of awareness . How aware is your target market of you?

Different people take in the world through different senses – seeing, hearing, or feeling it – some express themselves in pictures, others talk about how things sound, and others how it makes them feel.

Have your clients going out of their mind over you….

To be first in mind with your target market, it is important to vividly differentiate your differences in their memory. One way is to connect with how they view the world.

People have three preferred methods of perceiving the world around them:

•  Visual – about 35% of the population (they “see” the world)
Appearance is important
They remember things through pictures or moving images
• Auditory – about 25% of the population (they “hear” the world)
They remember what was said, the sounds of an event or product
Gather information from how you say it more than what you say

• • Kinesthetic – about 40% of the population  (they “feel” the world).
• Gather information through touch, emotion, and “gut” instinct
• Act on what and how they feel.

Now, that we know, listen to how you current clients describe you and what you do. Make note of which predicates (see, hear or feel,) they use to describe you. This list will give you which sense they prefer. We all use every sense, yet most of us have a preferred way of perceiving the world.  Use the right copy (words) to establish rapport with them. See our blog post “Every Person Speaks A Different Language” for ideas on "the right words."

To make sure you are first in mind, let visuals see, kinesthetic feel, and auditories hear about the unique benefits you offer.

Have a great day whatever your adventure

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

My friend Stephen attended a workshop last weekend. As he relayed the event, he commented that the instructor had a favorite response to many questions... "Your choice."

It is our choice, isn't it? Yet, life doesn't always feel as simple as those two words make it seem.

Sometimes, you have to make hard choices and sometimes the right choice isn't very clear. As I got to thinking about making a tough choice,  I first thought about the law of unintended consequences... each time a choice is made other things will change. If possible, allow time to explore the benefits and risks involved in changing or not.

When faced with a hard decision, here are CHOICE keys to consider:

Choose one decision at a time. Revisit your goals and values and examine alternatives. This is a good time to check in with both your heart and head. What do you feel and think about the decision?

Honor those affected by your choice. Be proactive and inform them first. Do not play games or beat around the bush. Be transparent.

Open your communication and say what you mean. Use whole messages. A whole message has 4 parts; a description of the need for the decision, your thoughts around the decision (beliefs, values, goals,) your feelings about the decisions (your opinion or interpretation,) and your desired outcomes for the decision.

Independent balanced with interdependent. Respect there will be differences. One can still care about someone who has different ideas, interests, and opinions to your own. If you expect them to respect your choices one must respect someone else's choices and opinions as well.

Courage to know your boundaries and maintain a commitment to the decision. This is not to imply that sometimes decisions cannot change, but by alert to pressures that go against your decision.

Endorse your decision, endure your choice, enjoy your outcome... I came up with so many "E"s it was hard to choose...

Have a great day whatever your adventure

To Success! To Life!

Sharon