Baller Alert™  

You have met a baller, and he has wined and dined you to your heart's content. Now it's time to show him a great time without trying to compete with his wallet.

1. Go to Marshalls or T.J. Maxx and buy him a bottle of cologne and a pair of silk boxers. It doesn't have to be expensive. Remember he is the provider and you are there to make him happy. It's the little things you do that he loves. Most ballers know they are the providers and it's a man's job to take care of home. If a baller doesn't think this way he is not a baller. Most men drop the ball because their father figure was a piece of sh*t and they don't know any better. My recommendation is to leave them be. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Don't give him the gift yet.

2. Prepare a nice meal for him. It's thousands of recipe websites on the net. If he likes seafood, prepare a seafood dinner starting with soup and salad, and then the main course. Go to Williams and Sonoma and get the cakes in a box and just add eggs and water. They are the best kept secrets. Make sure you throw the box away, get rid of all evidence.

3. While serving him make sure you look great. Buy some lounging wear (boy shorts and a wife beater) while serving him. You don't have to wear a teddy to get him in the mood. Give him something to look forward too.

4. After dinner put on some music. Prepare a play list on your Ipod or CD to set the mood. Talk, light some candles and smile. If he tries to rip your clothes off, hold off as long as you can. Talk about childhood memories. Take out your photo album and get to know him better. Make sure you are drinking during this talking session.

5. While he is talking, pull out his d**k and start s*cking it gently. Guide his hands to your n*pples and let him know what you want. Whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Make it your business to serve him and please him. In return he will serve you up more. After this session whip out your gifts. Watch him tear up.

Watch what happens next! Until next time.